Showing posts with label training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label training. Show all posts

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches Review

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches
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As I write this I my three little monkeys are noisily attempting to go to sleep in the other room. The fourth little monkey may only be the size of a raspberry, but from a cozy position in my womb he or she is making his or her presence felt (headache, queasiness, fatigue...). I have 60 nails on 60 fingers and toes to keep trimmed, not counting my own! There are toys in the Tupperware cupboard and Tupperware in the toy box. And yes, I probably could recite Green Eggs and Ham. I know what motherhood in the trenches looks like.
Loving the Little Years is not a book to make you feel good about how long it's been since you cleaned your bathroom. This book won't tell you to hire a babysitter so you can have a day off with your girlfriends and keep in touch with the real you. This book doesn't say that the answer to all your stress is to spend two hours with the Lord at four in the morning. There are no suggested schedules, no spanking formulas, no pity parties. This book is real.
With wisdom and humor, and in 20 short, punchy chapters, Rachel Jankovic reminds us mothers that we are sinners too. Sometimes when the attitudes are bad and everyone is crying the first person who needs to repent is Mommy. As mothers we pour everything we've got into "training them up in the way they should go" but we have to remember that our own journey to sanctification isn't over. God is using these mischievous little imps to make us more like Him.
When all they seem to do is make messes and all that seems to come out of their mouths is mostly unintelligible gibberish, we can tend to see our children as little bothers. But throughout this book Rachel encourages us to remember that they are little people, eternal souls, personalities in the making. She urges us to study them, know them, learn their needs, hopes, strengths and weaknesses. And she reminds us to see the individuals in the half-sized mob. The Jankovic family is fabulous at coming up with creative imagery and catch-phrases for helping their kids see their sin and to remind them to do better. From selfish dragons to Cranksters to picky chickens, Rachel has shared many of these helpful ideas.
When I bought this book I immediately took it home, put the baby down for her nap, turned on Baby Signing Time for the toddlers and read it cover to cover. Literally, I laughed and cried. I will be reading it again soon, chapter by chapter, taking notes and absorbing ideas. In fact, I will probably read it every year.

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I didn't write this book because mothering little ones is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn't. I know that this is a hard job, because I am right here in the middle of it. I know you need encouragement because I do too. This is not a tender reminiscence from someone who had children so long ago that she only remembers the sweet parts. At the time of writing this, I have three children in diapers, and I can recognize the sound of hundreds of toothpicks being dumped out in the hall. This is a small collection of thoughts on mothering young children for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for the times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain old tired. The opportunities for growth abound here but you have to be willing. You have to open your heart to the tumble. As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like, and feels like, to walk as a mother with God.

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Get Motivated: Overcome Any Obstacle, Achieve Any Goal, and Accelerate Your Success with Motivational DNA Review

Get Motivated: Overcome Any Obstacle, Achieve Any Goal, and Accelerate Your Success with Motivational DNA
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WHAT I LIKED
1) Honesty upfront. The author plainly states that there is no 1 size fits all and you're free to disagree with her framwork.
2) A variety of helpful best practices for getting you motivated, despite what your personality may be.
3) The author does try to shove in as much information as possible.
WHAT'S LACKING
1) The study needs to be included as an appendix to the book. I would gladly add a star to my review for this. On page 5, the author tells us that the ". . . system that I am about to unveil is based on an eight-year study that my team and I have conducted with more than 10,000 people. It is a research-based, systematic approach to achievement--and it works." If you're going to claim that an approach is backed up by scientific data, then you have to provide more details about the data and the science that you used.
2) The middle core chapters fail to actually help you "get motivated". There's inspirational stories, lots of quotes, bulleted and numbered listes, but little in the way of actionable steps that help one become motivated. Let me use chapter 9 to illustrate:
i) 1 page story on Mother Theresa
ii) 1 page describing the temperment of internals
iii) 2 1/2 pages on the personal story of Joshua Hanson
iv) 1 page on Pat Riley
v) 1 1/2 pages of quotes by internals
vi) 1/2 page description of the communication style of internals and a bulleted list of how to communicate with internals
vii) 1 page description on how internals look at the world
viii) a bulleted list of 6 strengths of internals, including "virtuous character"
ix) 1/2 page of the weaknesses of internals
x) 1 page of what internals want at work
xi) 7 bullets on how to work with internals, including "demonstrate interest in their family, concerns, and passions".
xii) short descriptive sections (1/3 page or less each) on "internals at play", "internals in relationships", "resolving conflict with internals", and "value to organization"
xiii) 1/3 page on what de-motivates internals
xiv) 10 point list on what motivates internals
xv) 1 page on what rewards to give internals to motivate them
xvi) 1/4 page of "Advice for Internals"
See the problem here? Out of 16 pages in the chapter, only 1.6% of chapter 9 contained information about what internals were supposed to do to become motivated. Wasn't that the point of the book?
The author does include, in chapter 15, 4 pages on how she, as a someone of "variety" motivated herself to get serious about workouts through variety. Then in the Appendix A, there are several (typically 4) questions for each category that are supposed to be used by people to ask themselves in order to get better motivated. Even so, that's not enough. This book should have included instructive lessons on how to get motivated in each of the core DNA chapters backed up by multiple case studies, instead of the descriptions, quotes and bullet points.
I want this to be a 5 star book and here's 3 things the author could make to achieve that:
1) Make it easier for an individual to identify which DNA categories that they fall into. Be much more detailed, such as a list of 50 questions, instead of just describing general characteristics of a group.
2) Re-do the core chapters. First, begin with the purpose that the chapters MUST teach an individual how to improve their own motivation. If I'm buying a book on motivation, it must mean that I want someone else's advice on better ways to become motivated. Telling me characteristics about myself or how a boss might motivate me with recognition, private praise, etc. isn't of much help. Second, the items from Appendix A should be worked into the chapters. If this book is to be truly useful, it must be organized in a way that it can act as a reference. The styles in 7 Habits and How to Meet Friends are good examples of how to organize the content so that it is straightforward and can be used as a reference.
3) Add an appendix with detailed explanation of the research.

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