Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents Review

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(More customer reviews)One day I was sitting in my recliner, not having a pity party, but just evaluating my life. I have a son who is a successful doctor. Another owns his own plumbing company. Another is sought after in the field of computer programming.
I also have two grown children that I sometimes refer to as my "gifts- that just keep on giving". These 'kids' are 32 (my youngest son) and 36 years old (my husband's bipolar daughter who is also on street drugs). If ever the Lord has spoken to me (and I know He has)..it was this day. Thoughts were flowing. "I don't know what NORMAL is. I tried to envision what it would be like to have a family gathering where my functioning kids could interact with the two 'outsiders'. What would it be like to not cringe when the phone rings with the next drama, to plan a vacation for me and my husband where we could just go and have a GREAT TIME without worrying about which one of them were having a crisis! I went on to the realization that "I am all USED UP. There is no more. There is NO joy in my life. No smiles. No laughter. No fun. No hope". Just me, waiting for the next round. My functioning children don't even KNOW me anymore because I have been so consumed with the two that require my time, energy, money and support.
Keep in mind, this was NOT a depressing awakening. It was LIBERATING! But I realized I needed a support system because it wasnt going to be easy to keep from falling back into my routine of "fixing" everything for every one else. I started looking for reading material and am so thankful that I ran across this book. I empathized with the author about her son - she and I shared the same feelings and some of the same experiences. The entire book just clarified to me what I needed to do to REALLY help these children. It reinforced the fact that this is not a selfish thing I am doing- it is the MOST GIVING,MOST LOVING, MOST UN-SELFISH thing I can do for my grown children - to quit trying to protect my grown kids from themselves and their consistent poor choices. I had been giving them just enough leash to see them get close to the fire and then I'd step in and try to salvage their lives. That day, I unhooked the leash and my grown kids are free to go. They know I love them but I am not available for any more drama caused by their irrational behavior and their poor choices. I am starting to live a life where I actually laugh a lot, I smile a lot, I am a fun, kind, thoughtful, interesting person and I have a LOT to give.
This book gives you the reinforcement you need wherever you presently are on your road to 'recovery'. I can honestly say that I have never read a book on this subject that so captivates me - every single page has reinforcement or encouragement or useful suggestions or motivation on how to make life begin again for YOU and also for the grown child who is getting ready to find out that it is time for him/her to grow up and take responsibility for their own decisions. I'm smiling as I write this because I know I'll never go back to those days and I have great hope for my son and step-daughter. They are in the shock stage right now - we're watching for signs that they will catch the next wind and soar like eagles. If they don't soar the first time, we'll be happy with just a flapping of wings. But they're going back to their OWN nest this time.
GREATEST OF GREAT BOOKS FOR THE PARENT WHO IS AGONIZING OVER THEIR GROWN KIDS CHOICES!

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Good Girls Don't Get Fat: How Weight Obsession Is Messing Up Our Girls and How We Can Help Them Thrive Despite It Review

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(More customer reviews)I think the title of Dr. Robyn Silverman's book (Good Girls Don't Get Fat) really says it all. We've trained our girls to think they are bad or less of a person if they are fat. Whether it's through magazines, television, the internet or ironically, the people who are supposed to love these girls the most (parents, siblings, "friends," and teachers - yes teachers!!), girls are beginning to worry about their weight at younger and younger ages. While talk radio programs air news stories weekly extolling the dangers of obesity (which is, of course, also an important health issue), Dr. Silverman sees countless girls in her practice with only minor weight problems or none at all. However, these girls have convinced themselves they are fat and therefore "bad."
The book provides excellent information of how aspects of a young girl's life can send her the message of to be thin is to be happy, healthy, loved. The author takes the discussion from the "inside out" starting with what a girl thinks about her weight in her own head and continuing to cover how the various relationships in her life can exacerbate the issues. Including how powerful words can be in these various relationships (mother, father, step-parents if applicable, other family members, teachers and other adults).
Dr. Silverman uses a lot of tools, tips and worksheets throughout the book and are an excellent supplement to the information. Readers get examples of weight issues that may arise with girls and can read "Say What" boxes to give guidance on "what not to say" and "what to say" -- (dads take note of that please). "Overheard" boxes appear throughout the chapters as well which share stories and quotes from girls she interviewed. A tip list appears at the end of every chapter and are specific as to the information in the chapter. For example, the chapter for dads ends with tips for dads on how to nurture the relationship with their daughter so it has a positive impact on her self-worth.
Of course, I was particularly interested in the chapter about dads titled, "Father Figure: Daddy's Not-So-Little Girl." Dads play a huge role in whether their daughters have a positive or negative self-image. This chapter was eye-opening, especially in regards to some of the "Overheard" sections. I cringed when I read some of the horribly insensitive things some dads would say to their daughters, thinking they're being funny or a joker. I would like to think most dads would want to take back those words or avoid saying them altogether, especially knowing the price those jokes can have on a girl's self-image. Like I mentioned above, the chapter ends with some really useful tips and things to remember. The chapter also ended with a BIQ (The Body Image Quotient), a quiz to gauge how your daughter is doing in a world so focused on thinness at all costs. These appear in many of the chapters and in Chapter 8 you get to tabulate your daughter's score. Very interesting and a really good way to assess how things are going.
In the book's introduction, Dr. Silverman concludes with this: "I hope and pray that one day, when my daughter stares into the mirror and asks, "Am I acceptable the way I am?" she will confidently say yes. But I know that the real triumph will come when girls of all sizes and every age don't even have to ask. They'll just know." Reading that early on in the book got me thinking about what a great gift that would be and how crucial my role as a father plays into that happening. As a father to a 20-month-old girl, this just may be the most important book I've read since becoming a parent. Do something special for the girls in your life and read this book.
Reviewed on Book Dads: [...]

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Based on Dr. Robyn Silverman's groundbreaking research at Tufts University, and filled with searingly honest young voices, Good Girls Don't Get Fat:– Decodes the ripple effects of actions that damage our girls-and provides tools to help stop them.– Shines light on the positive influence of women who embrace body types of any size-and explains how to model the right behavior.– Shows how girls, whatever their size, can own their strengths, trust their power and accomplish amazing things.

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I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood Review

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(More customer reviews)I bought this book because I saw an interview with the authors on 20/20 and thought that it would be an interesting and funny read. I actually went to my local bookstore and bought it the next day and looked forward to curling up and digesting it from cover to cover. When I started perusing it, I was surprised to find out that it was written in an almost condescending style and tone and was touted as a self-help book. At the beginning of each chapter, it has these lists where you can check off the dumb things that you may have done since being a mother. Also, interspersed throughout the chapters are "Dirty Little Secrets" that the authors share with you. One of them was that the author had "locked her kids in the car not once, not twice, but THREE times" and acted like this fact was entertaining and funny. Sorry, but it was not. Also, they give advice after each chapter like the ever-present and common knowledge fact that "as a mother, you need to take some time for yourself". No kidding! As if these were the first mothers to discover this new tidbit of information! The whole general tone of the book acted like because we were reading the book, that we were dumb and did not know how to balance our lives as mothers, wives, career-woman and friends. I thought it was going to be a funny collection of essays, first-hand accounts of parenting and slices of their lives as mothers that I could relate to, but after finishing the book, I almost felt insulted. The cover of the book looks great, but I would not recommend it at all.

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Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches Review

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(More customer reviews)As I write this I my three little monkeys are noisily attempting to go to sleep in the other room. The fourth little monkey may only be the size of a raspberry, but from a cozy position in my womb he or she is making his or her presence felt (headache, queasiness, fatigue...). I have 60 nails on 60 fingers and toes to keep trimmed, not counting my own! There are toys in the Tupperware cupboard and Tupperware in the toy box. And yes, I probably could recite Green Eggs and Ham. I know what motherhood in the trenches looks like.
Loving the Little Years is not a book to make you feel good about how long it's been since you cleaned your bathroom. This book won't tell you to hire a babysitter so you can have a day off with your girlfriends and keep in touch with the real you. This book doesn't say that the answer to all your stress is to spend two hours with the Lord at four in the morning. There are no suggested schedules, no spanking formulas, no pity parties. This book is real.
With wisdom and humor, and in 20 short, punchy chapters, Rachel Jankovic reminds us mothers that we are sinners too. Sometimes when the attitudes are bad and everyone is crying the first person who needs to repent is Mommy. As mothers we pour everything we've got into "training them up in the way they should go" but we have to remember that our own journey to sanctification isn't over. God is using these mischievous little imps to make us more like Him.
When all they seem to do is make messes and all that seems to come out of their mouths is mostly unintelligible gibberish, we can tend to see our children as little bothers. But throughout this book Rachel encourages us to remember that they are little people, eternal souls, personalities in the making. She urges us to study them, know them, learn their needs, hopes, strengths and weaknesses. And she reminds us to see the individuals in the half-sized mob. The Jankovic family is fabulous at coming up with creative imagery and catch-phrases for helping their kids see their sin and to remind them to do better. From selfish dragons to Cranksters to picky chickens, Rachel has shared many of these helpful ideas.
When I bought this book I immediately took it home, put the baby down for her nap, turned on Baby Signing Time for the toddlers and read it cover to cover. Literally, I laughed and cried. I will be reading it again soon, chapter by chapter, taking notes and absorbing ideas. In fact, I will probably read it every year.

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I didn't write this book because mothering little ones is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn't. I know that this is a hard job, because I am right here in the middle of it. I know you need encouragement because I do too. This is not a tender reminiscence from someone who had children so long ago that she only remembers the sweet parts. At the time of writing this, I have three children in diapers, and I can recognize the sound of hundreds of toothpicks being dumped out in the hall. This is a small collection of thoughts on mothering young children for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for the times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain old tired. The opportunities for growth abound here but you have to be willing. You have to open your heart to the tumble. As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like, and feels like, to walk as a mother with God.

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Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter When She's Growing Up So Fast Review

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(More customer reviews)If this book ever achieves the popularity it so richly deserves, there is no doubt in my mind that it will be trashed by some groups in the U.S. society. If that level of acceptance is ever achieved remember to read it before you judge or accept someone elses judgement of it. This book will challenge you. It will force you to evaluate your place as a father, and your place in the world as it affects girls. As the author states in the Foreword, it may offend. It is not written from a Christian perspective and it is not written from Atheistic perspective. It is about exactly what the title states.
There are two things that are almost universally true for all fathers of daughters. 1.) We don't talk to anyone at all about our jobs as parents. 2.) We did not grow up as girls (Ok, this one is universally true.) What Joe Kelly does in Dads and Daughters is point out that these are two of several major hurdles we must accomplish to be good dads. Luckily, he also provides great information on how to overcome these hurdles.
Covering the first hurdle brings surprises. In his research, Joe interviewed dozens of fathers from all walks of life. In that research he found common themes. Themes that each of us as dads of daughters know to be true for us, but have no idea that there is another soul on the planet with the same concerns, the same desires, the same stories. He points to our lack of father to father communication and says, "here are some ways to fix that."
The second hurdle is obvious once stated but not so clear until then. We grew up as boys, and generally find girls as perplexing as we did when we were their age. That is a problem for a grown up boy given the task of raising a girl. The tools that our fathers used with us (if we were lucky enough to have that father) probably will not work with your daughter. And quitting is not an option. (For what it's worth, you the humble reader may find that some of the techniques Kelly describes are just as useful with the grown up girl that is the mother of your daughter.)
With Dads and Daughters, Kelly forces us to turn the light of understanding inward to see so many things that we already know, but forgot. Most of us imagine ourselves cleaning the shotgun when our daughter's beau comes a callin' yet almost none of us remember our own insecurities and true desire to find love when we were that age. Many of us have grown comfortable in the role of secondary parent; many of us have forgotten how important we are.
It is incontrovertabile that your concern and love for your daughter brought you to look at the details of this book. What you may not realize is how important of a role you do have now, through her adolesence, and beyond. You may not realize what you need to be for your little princess. This book will help, and if you're like me it might re-awaken those feelings of unrestrained joy, love, and hope that you had the first time you saw her and realized, she was your daughter and you are her father.

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Daughters Gone Wild, Dads Gone Crazy: Battle-Tested Tips From a Father and Daughter Who Survived the Teenage Years Review

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(More customer reviews)A couple of years ago the movie Thirteen, staring Holly Hunter and Evan Rachel Wood, had people talking with its frank depictions of early adolescent drug use, sexual promiscuity, and emotional angst. Media outlets picked up on the public's level of shock that the movie would show 13-year-olds engaged in such behavior. "Maybe 16- or 17-year-olds, but surely not kids so young?! And not middle-class white girls!" seemed to be the general feeling.
It didn't take long for adolescent psychologists to make the talk show rounds and confirm that this was, indeed, an accurate picture of how many young girls are starting to act out as they enter the teen years. And the movie only confirmed what pastor Charles Stone and his wife had learned the hard way, just a few years earlier, when their oldest daughter, Heather, turned 13.
Today Heather is 22 and a committed Christian pursuing a career in nursing. But for five years she tore herself and her family apart with behavior that the word "bad" doesn't modify with justice. Emergency rooms, a manual labor camp, mental hospitals, and countless rehab units became the terrain of their lives. In DAUGHTERS GONE WILD, DADS GONE CRAZY, Heather and her father tell their story in a he said/she said format for which a courtroom scene (he said) sets the stage:
"A handful of fidgety people sat in the nearly empty room. We took our seats in the back, and after a few moments the bailiff barked his customary, "All rise!" A dark-haired judge emerged from the side door. He seemed to float to his bench in his ankle-length black robe. I could feel my shoulders begin to tighten as we nervously sat in Courtroom A.
'Charles and Sherryl Stone vs. Heather Stone: Case number 43. Please come forward,' he bellowed.
The bailiff opened the waist-high swinging door that led to the judge's bench. The judge motioned for us to sit at the well-worn Formica covered table in front of him. He peered over his black-rimmed glasses. 'So what's the problem?' he asked.
With a dry mouth I muttered, 'We just can't handle our oldest daughter anymore. She runs away, stays out all night with boys, uses drugs and alcohol, curses us, and skips school. We've consulted a half-dozen psychologists. We've pled with her, fought with her, and grounded her. We're desperate. We need your help.'"
The judge threatened Heather with an ankle monitoring device if she didn't start obeying her parents, but it would take a lot more before she was ready and willing to make changes. No longer opposing litigants, father and daughter want to provide hope, encouragement, and a few hard-earned bits of advice to others facing similar turmoil. DAUGHTERS GONE WILD, DADS GONE CRAZY is divided into eleven chapters, nine of which are devoted to what the duo calls "relational life preservers." They include #1 "Don't Panic at the First Warning Signs," #5 "Reconnect with Gifts from the Heart," and #7 "Chose Your Battles --- And Lose Some on Purpose." The first half of each chapter features Charles speaking to dads and the second half features Heather talking to daughters.
This book is what I like to call a teaching memoir. It doesn't shy away from bullet-pointed instruction, but its soul is that of a narrative. And it's in the storytelling that this book is most powerful and instructive. Both father and daughter display a penchant for writing as they relive, in often emotionally raw and painful detail, their conflicts. Charles speaks honestly about the struggle to continue to love his daughter in the face of her vitriol, and Heather speaks candidly about the jabs from fellow students and friends --- incidents adults often overlook as petty in the lives of their children --- that fed her frustration and rebellion.
DAUGHTERS GONE WILD, DADS GONE CRAZY is geared for fathers and daughters, but many of its lessons would well serve any combination of parent/child conflict. In fact, I'd encourage all parents to read this book, regardless of your children's behavior or age. It will make you a better parent and a better support for fellow parents dealing with out-of-control children.
--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel


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Fifteen psychologists, twelve secondary schools, four expulsions, four rehabs, two house-arrests and innumerable arguments... the cast and plot line for a season's worth of Law and Order? No. This was the real-life drama of Heather Stone's adolescence. Now in college, Heather, the once rebellious teen, has sat down with her father to pen an insider's guide for parents and teens alike.

Charles and Heather don't offer Cleaver family ideals or promise Brady Bunch thirty-minute solutions. They, instead, share the realities of their 6-year nightmare, in the hopes of fostering hope for the millions of families trying to survive the years from thirteen to eighteen. Replete with faith, honesty, and practicality, it offers readers nine practical lessons and provides a compass for even the worst tempests of teen rebellion.

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The Disappearance of Childhood Review

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(More customer reviews)Based upon Postman's description of childhood and the reason for its being, our society may be in jeopardy of losing this long-standing concept. Postman says that childhood came into existence about the time of the printing press; it arose out of a need to become a literate society in which adults controlled the information that children could access. Children had to learn to read so they could gain this information. Thus, schools were necessary. Furthermore, the adults' control of the information established a gap between adulthood and childhood. Adults could provide information to children when they deemed it was appropriate to do so. With the growth of electonic media and the move into the information age, adults have somewhat lost their control over the information; consequently, the gap between adulthood and childhood has been narrowed. Children are exposed to those"adult" ideas and thoughts sooner now because of their access to the information, i.e. consider today's television programs as just one example. Postman even contends that adults are more "child-like" in some ways; he give examples of the lack of distinction between clothing and language for adults and children. Perhaps a bit unfairly, Postman blames many of the less than positive changes in today's society on the media. However, this is a great read and provides a lot of "food for thought." The historical perspective that Postman provides on the "invention" of childhod is fascinating. His tracing of the developments growing out of the information age are logical and make a lot of sense. While he raises our concerns, Postman offers no real solutions to the problems.

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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series) Review

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(More customer reviews)Richard and Kris Carlson have hit the vein of gold with this book. Each chapter is a polished gem of insight and truth. Pointing out the contrast between hurting behavior and loving behavior in such a way that you can't deny it, they give very practical, hands-on tips on how to be a better partner for life. My wife and I read a chapter aloud each day. We want it to stretch out as long as possible. It has already improved our relationship. If you have relationship troubles, order this book immediately!

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Now available in paperback!The New York Timesbestselling authors show readers how to feel like newlyweds every day.He's helped 12 million people reduce the stress at home and atwork. Now the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Don't Sweat theSmall Stuff, Richard Carlson with Kristine, his wife of 14 years bringus a simple, stress-free approach to love. While depression,heartache, and anger are associated with love relationships, stress israrely identified as a problem. Yet we all have concerns about ourmost important relationships. In one hundred brief, beautifullywritten essays, the authors show readers how not to overreact to aloved one's criticism, how to appreciate your spouse in new ways, howto get past old angers, and many other ways to improve and increasethe joy and pleasure that can and should be part of any relationship.

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Making Peace with Motherhood...And Creating a Better You Review

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(More customer reviews)I loved this book! It renewed and inspired me by reminding me of the reasons I decided to be an at-home mom. I found that by reading it, I came away with a renewed respect for my vocation. I would recommend it to any Christian mom seeking to incorporate human and spiritual improvement into their life.

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Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool Review

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(More customer reviews)"ScreamFree Parenting," by Hal Runkel, is an excellent parenting guide that will help moms and dads everywhere to keep (or regain) their sanity. Runkel is a licensed family and marriage therapist and one of the founders of ScreamFree Living, Inc. The book's thesis is that parents cannot keep tabs on their kids 24/7, nor can they force their children to consistently behave in a certain way. Therefore, mothers and fathers would be better off learning to focus on how they react to their children's words and actions.
Parents, Runkel contends, should take stock of themselves. Are they in control of their behavior when they interact with their children? Or are they at the mercy of their "emotional reactivity"--their unthinking, knee-jerk reactions? If the latter is true, it is likely that parent-child interactions will be tense, angry, and unproductive.
All of us who have struggled with parental responsibilities instinctively realize that a calm and reasoned approach is far more effective than a hysterical and dictatorial one. However, because of fatigue, ignorance, or inertia, many of us instinctively lash out, saying things that we don't really mean when our kids push our buttons. What to do?
Runkel does not advocate a permissive parenting style. Rather, the author recommends what he calls "judo parenting." Judo is "the art of going with another's momentum." A ScreamFree parent facilitates rather than dictates; he encourages his children to use their own resources to solve problems. By helping kids to get in the habit of making their own decisions and living with the consequences, parents will be more likely to launch "self-directed" adults.
Runkel's writing style is clear, concise, humorous, and to-the-point. The book is conveniently divided into easy-to-read sections and the chapters all conclude with thought-provoking "reflection questions." The author provides many practical examples to demonstrate how his principles work in the real world. Runkel's amusing quotations from a wide variety of sources add liveliness to his message. In additon, there are lengthier anecdotes that are taken from Runkel's experiences as a family therapist. Most parents will pick up many useful tips from "ScreamFree Parenting." It is an entertaining, intelligent, and practical approach to raising our kids without losing our minds.

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You Can Start a Revolution in Your Family . . . TonightScreamFree Parenting is not just about lowering your voice. It's about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids' behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional reactivity. When we say we "lost it" with our kids, the "it" in that sentence is our own adulthood. And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family.It's time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that you've always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight.Parenting is not about kids, it's about parents.If you're not in control, then you cannot be in charge.What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what. Easier said than done? Not anymore, thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, the principle-based approach that's inspiring parents everywhere to truly revolutionize their family dynamics. Moving beyond the child-centered, technique-based approaches that ultimately fail, the ScreamFree way compels you to:focus on yourselfcalm yourself down, and grow yourself upBy staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionizing your relationships in the process.ScreamFree Parenting is not just another parenting book. It's the first parentingbook that maintains—from beginning to end—that parenting is NOT about kids . . . it's about parents. As parents pay more attention to controlling their own behavior instead of their kids' behavior, the result is stronger, more rewarding, and more fulfilling family relationships.For those of you reading who are parents, know parents, or have had parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. It's not. Here's why: we are the only ones we can control. We cannot control our kids—we cannot control the behavior of any other human being. And yet, so many "experts" keep giving us more tools ("techniques") to help us try to do just that. And, of course, the more we try to control, the more out of control our children become."Don't make me come up there." "Don't make me pull this car over." "How many times do I have to tell you?" Even our language suggests that our kids have control over us.It's no wonder that we end up screaming. Or shutting down. Or simply giving up. And the charts, refrigerator magnets, family meetings, and other techniques in most typical parenting books just don't work. They end up making us feel more frustrated and more powerless in this whole parenting thing.This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.

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The Optimistic Child: Proven Program to Safeguard Children from Depression & Build Lifelong Resilience Review

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(More customer reviews)I don't disagree entirely with the one-star reviewer--optimism is hardly the answer to all of society's problems. However, as the parent of a son who often shows signs of inheriting ... depression ..., I found this book to be a proactive alternative to the little lectures on over-reacting to situations that I had been giving! I explain the steps Seligman suggests as games we play to prepare him for middle school and they get him thinking about the control he can exert in his own perceptions (this is a skill often not acquired until late adolescence, if ever). Finally, some support for at-risk kids! I only wish more parents were aware of the influence their behavior wields--this book helps both parent and child increase self-understanding. Other books on childhood depression depend too heavily on explaining available medication--THANK YOU, Mr. Seligman, for offering concrete advice on drug-free depression-prevention.

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What a Daughter Needs From Her Dad: How a Man Prepares His Daughter for Life Review

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(More customer reviews)I was attending a Christian writer's convention when I saw Michael Farri's book on the table. Having a five-month-old daughter at home, the title immediately grabbed me. True to its cover, this book is a must-read for every father who has daughters.
Filled with personal insights, biblical exposition, and practical tips, What a Daughter Needs From Her Dad is a wonderful, insightful, call to fathers to raise good, solid, Christian ladies.
Michael can talk about raising girls, becuase he has six of them! This is a book that I will keep close to me as I watch Grace grow up, hopefully putting into practice the lessons Michael Farris has given in his book. It is my goal to raise a young lady who yearns for God.
Fathers, please do our country a favor, and buy this book!

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To encourage and guide men in becoming the dads they want to be, Michael Farris addresses issues common in all families with daughters: friends, dating, personal appearance, and preparing for the roles she'll have as a woman. Michael Farris challenges fathers to take their unique opportunity to train daughters for life's challenges--in ways that only a dad can. Originally published as How a Man Prepares His Daughters for Life, it now includes new material on relating to an adult daughter.

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Mother To Son: Shared Wisdom From the Heart Review

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(More customer reviews)Having devoured every page of the Harrisons' Mother to Daughter book, I was eager to discover what wisdom lay in their newest volume. I wasn't disappointed! Again, this little gem is filled with wise counsel -- this time for mothers of boys of any age. The authors' economy of words, their humor and insight, is never cliche. I recognized myself and my own sons in its pages and appreciate the opportunity to better prepare for our oldest son's new adventure in college. It's great reading for "taxi-ing" times -- I carry my copy in my car -- and is a wonderful tool for opening dialogue with our sons. Fun to read and most profound, all in one terrific package!

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Father to Daughter: Life Lessons on Raising a Girl Review

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(More customer reviews)Although a very short, small book, this is a very good collection of simple bits of wisdom.
Some readers may think that it is too simplistic, but I think it contains some things that are very good reminders for fathers of daughters. As big of a job as parenting is in today's world, we can all use reminders of even the basics. In our fast paced world, many times our relationships with family members take a back seat to work. That shouldn't be the case. In this primer on parenting, Harrison helps us remember some basic things that are very valuable.
Some of the pages deal with advice on things that are your role as a parent. Others contain insights that will make readers smile in remembering events they have experienced in child rearing.
Some of my favorite of the included 'lessons' are these:
1. Take part in her life now. Don't wait until she's 15 to try to develop a relationship.
2. Tell her from day one that she can accomplish anything.
3. Be prepared to watch Walt Disney movies with her some 200 times. Each.
4. Tickle her, play with her, give her piggyback rides. She's not breakable.
5. Realize that as you shape her, she will shape you.
6. Read to her often. Very soon, she'll be reading to you.
7. Talk to her about what she wants to be when she grows up.
Continally reinforce the idea that anything is possible.
8. When she's old enough, sign her up for karate lessons. This is more for your sake than hers.
9. Think before you speak. Even when you don't mean to, you can end up hurting her feelings.
10. Take her out of town to somewhere she's never been at least once a year. This will develop her sense of wonder.
11. Remember, teenage girls spend hours in their room doing something. No man has ever really figured out what that something is.
12. There will be days when you think you've raised an alien. Those are the same days she feels she's being raised by one.
13. Remember, it's a good thing if the boys in her life think you are slightly unstable.
Frankly, I never would have bought this for myself. It's a very small, 'cutesy' looking book. It's just not the type of thing that attracts my attention. Fortunately, my wife saw it and bought it for me. It is a real little treasure.

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As a former boy, a father immediately understands why his son builds a tower of blocks, calls it a boom crane, and then knocks it down. But why does his daughter build the same tower, call it an ice-cream cone, and then offer a taste? As Harry Harrison, author of the chunky little bestseller Father to Son, would suggest, fathers of daughters should simply enjoy that imaginative treat, and every other she's likely to dream up.Filled with short, sweet, inspirational words of wisdom, Father to Daughter is a book of guidance for Dads on loving, shaping-and learning to comprehend-their inscrutable little girls. Divided into stages from infancy on up, it offers a pithy lesson on every page. Helpful reassurance: Tickle her, play with her, give her piggyback rides. She's not breakable. Advice on passing down skills: Show her how to climb up a tree. Also, how to climb down. Your role: Be home for dinner on time. This is very important. Make sure she knows she can call you at any time and you will go get her. This is why the cell phone was invented. Guideposts, both material and spiritual: Give her a piggybank when she's little. She's never too young to learn the value of saving. And, Help her understand that there's more to life than wearing the right jeans. And finally: Prepare for the day when you're not the most important man in her life.

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Letters From Dad: How to Leave a Legacy of Faith, Hope, and Love for Your Family Review

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(More customer reviews)Greg Vaughn had never been close with his dad. So after his dad died and Vaughn was cleaning out the garage, he was surprised at the depth of his grief. "The only thing I had left from my dad was an old tackle box and silence." He continues, "I remember crying out to God, 'This is it? This is all I get? I don't even have my father's signature!' "
That garage moment set in motion Vaughn's growing nationwide movement to encourage men to write periodic letters to their children --- and wives and parents --- leaving a legacy of blessing, affirmation, and love.
The book essentially explains how to set about writing letters, complete with sample letters, a table of contents listing topics that letters might address over time, and writing tips from a college professor. Vaughn suggests that letters include three elements: praise, hope and vision for the future, and assurance of loving commitment.
But it also has an unfolding plot with multiple characters, explaining how Vaughn gathered a dozen men to join him in his initial, tentative venture. They met monthly for four months, agreeing to write and then read to the group letters they'd written --- first to wives, then to children, then to parents, living or dead, and finally a letter on the order of a final testament: "If our friends who've passed away had been able to speak at their own funerals, I wonder what they would've said. Have you ever thought about that? What would you say if you could speak at your own funeral?"
You see the men interested in the letter-writing concept but clueless as to what to say or how to start. You see the reactions of wives and children when they receive their first letters, presented, according to Vaughn's schema, in wooden boxes with engraved nameplates. You see glimpses into Vaughn's own blended family. You see the birth of a church-based course called "Letters from Dad."
On one level the book is a promotional piece for Vaughn's ministry, but it should not be discounted on that count. It is an inspiring and encouraging tool in its own right. Its breezy tone, airy design, and short (four-page) chapters make the venture accessible even to reluctant participants. It would make a great gift for any father but especially those looking for some tangible way to connect with their children and those who are facing their own mortality and need to feel that they will be remembered after their passing.
As for leaving markable legacies, every chapter of LETTERS FROM DAD begins with a page of feel-good, multigenerational family photos that create nostalgia and interest. But the people are never identified. It seems most --- but not all --- are Vaughn's own family. It makes one wonder: Who are those guys?
--- Reviewed by Evelyn Bence

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What began as a passion in the heart of a father of seven has led to a new men's movement. Many fathers are asking "How do I leave something of lasting value to my children and grandchildren?" This book helps dads leave treasured words of love and blessing to their children.

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My Quotable Kid: A Parents' Journal of Unforgettable Quotes Review

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(More customer reviews)This is a neat little book for writing down precious moments of cute quotes that your little ones say. I would definitely recommend this book to other parents.

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Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture Review

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(More customer reviews)First of all, I'm a new father. Of a girl. Naturally I find myself wondering how on earth I am going to raise a confident, considerate and well adjusted girl in these complicated times. I also noticed that sometimes people's eyebrows would raise as they saw me reading this book in public. Trust me. This book is a worthwhile read for mothers AND fathers.
What this book has proven to be is an alarming expose of the numerous pitfalls our culture has created for girls. Orenstein humorously and cuttingly tackles issues such as the marketing schemes of the "disney princess brand", "pink explosion" of products marketed toward girls, the pattern of teen-icon role-models who go from "wholesome" to "whoresome" as they mature (even the seemingly incorruptible Miley Cyrus succumbed to it as she got older). AKA don't pose for Vanity Fair. The book is well researched and makes a compelling case for all parents to be concerned about the future of their daughters.
Orenstein's agenda is liberally slanted with an anti-consumer agenda, and you can tell because there's some obvious HRC/Palin comparisons in the book, but what would you expect from a lady living in Berekely, California? A Santa Cruz resident, myself, I didn't find these insertions bothersome, but to the politically conservative I advice a grain of salt.
At times the narrative seemed to get overly alarmist, raising red flags about things which I personally wouldn't worry very much. I understand why, but parts of the discussion seemed to over-stress the dangers to our nascent daughters. I just don't buy it. Meanwhile, the book offers a great amount of commentary/critique about these challenges, but provides very little of substance in terms of how to address these issues on the parental end. There are some gems scattered throughout but I found myself wishing there was more guidance for those who are struggling here. Maybe the answer is that there is no real answer, because the parenting experience is so different for everyone.

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